THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS
Keep a low profile; never attract unnecessary attention.
That pretty much sums up the paradigm of my modus vivendi.
Every day I do my hair in the most common way I can come up with, usually taking special care that it partially covers my face in order to hide my features. If possible, I choose a hairdo that will make people shun me, which usually will lead to them quickly forgetting about me. My mother claims I have a pretty face and nice hair, so I need to make them inconspicuous. Never been able to see it though.
When I look in the mirror, all I see is that which I am supposed to become. Some kind of savior for the whole human race. I find myself frequently wishing that it all really ended with the destruction of the Cyberdyne building. The darkness under my eyes a constant reminder of how much I need this pressure to go away.
Baggy clothes in dull colors. Mom says I have to hide my body too since it's in very good shape. A testament to the never-ending training that accompanies my nonexistent leisure hours after school.
Today I walk into some hick town high school in the middle of nowhere in New Mexico. The latest addendum to my attire, fake prescription glasses in a bulky enough plastic frame to make me look neither nerdy nor cool, just more invisible. Supposedly, as of recently my eyelashes have started getting thicker and they make my eyes stand up too much.
Some days I don't even know who I am anymore. Sure, I need to become the human messiah, but who am I right now? Who is this person that dresses as nothing I would like, looks years older than should be. Who is this person that lives in this house but never has had one, who doesn't even have a name to hold onto? This is not me, I never aspired to be a wraith.
With just mom by my side since forever, and she starting to look like the enemy more and more as I find myself loathing my supposed fate, sometimes I wish someone would notice. Someone to share the burden with, someone who tells me they will be there no matter what.
It hasn't happened in years, why would it happen now? As I take my seat to learn about chemistry from some Mr. Ferguson, I come to the sad realization as to why I can become the human messiah. I am destined to hold onto nothing or lose it along the way. By the time Skynet takes everything from humanity, I will be able to take a stand because I will be used to having nothing, so nothing will be taken from me. When Skynet rips everything people hold dear from their grasp, my soldier mother will stand by my side, and I will have lost nothing. Is it asking too much to own just a little more? Am I being too egoistical?
"What's your name?"
I turn around and find that someone is looking at me. As in, specifically at me. I'm pretty sure I just frowned a little; this is quite disconcerting and unprecedented for a first day at school.
How I wish to tell this person my name, to just this one time forget about the rules, the low profile pursuit. How I wish I could say Cameron Connor, fear no repercussions, and move on from there.
"Cameron," I simply reply, and when Skynet takes everything from the rest, one human will be able to make a stand.
When he replies, a smile adorns his face, reaching all the way up to those steel green eyes that are starting to enthrall me.
Mr. Ferguson makes some remark about not talking when he does, and some part of my brain luckily registers it, as my head turns automatically to look upfront again. I fake attention to dissimulate the inner musings of my mind, that threat to bring what I'm sure will be a goofy smile to my mouth.
Perhaps today is the day, and this boy could be that someone